Continuing in our series, Asking for a Friend, it’s the universal question: Why do bad things happen to good people? You can check out my message here. But do we really want to know why?
Imagine you are walking down a hallway in a hospital. You hear a woman crying out in pain. Standing outside her room are her family and friends who are chatting it up and even laughing seemingly unaware of the howling coming from the room. You stop and say to them, “What is wrong with you? Can’t you hear how much pain she is in?” They look at you like you are crazy and reply, “She’s having a baby! We are so happy!” Every baby’s arrival on planet earth is a memorable occasion. The birth of our second was nothing less. It was a scheduled induction a week after his due date. We arrived at the hospital and went through the customary routine. Amy was hooked up to the fetal monitor that registered her contractions and the baby’s vitals. The medication drip was started. The doctor had the rousing pre-game talk with us. And we waited. As the drip kicked in, the contractions commenced. With each passing contraction, the grimace on Amy’s face amplified. It appeared her pain was intensifying, but the monitor was only showing measly escalations. I was getting concerned because she was obviously in pain but there didn’t appear to be a reason for it. I’m smarter than I look (and I enjoy life), so I restrained from sweetly saying, “Suck it up, buttercup!” About that time, the nurse came in the room to do a regular check and noticed the monitor was not placed in the correct position. She adjusted a few things just as another contraction began and the display soared off the screen! Uh, where’s the epidural?
In some cases, when we know why, the pain doesn’t seem so bad anymore. We can tolerate suffering when we know why it is happening. I was bothered by Amy’s pain when the monitor wasn’t correlating with her grimaces. But once it made sense, I was better with it. And then there are other cases where even if we had the answer to why, we can’t imagine that it would possibly even come close to alleviating our pain.
Every one of us who suffers wants to know why. But what if we found the answer? What if the mystery were finally solved? If this ultimate question were answered, then would we be able to make peace with the suffering of “good” people? If we knew why we would no longer be bothered by their cry, we would no longer feel their pain, because we would understand why it is happening.
It’s the search for the why that draws us closer to God. In the middle of our suffering, we have two options. We can use our confusion, hurt and anger to draw us closer to God or we can make it an excuse to run from God. It’s also the search for why that draws us closer to others. We can enter their pain and confusion. So, let’s keep asking the question. Allow the question to draw you closer to God. In fact, allow the question to propel you into action. When you see “good” people suffering, hear their cry, feel their pain, and move into action to help them. And so, in your suffering, may you receive the same.
Ryan Smallwood
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